The Bible states in Proverbs 17:22 that a merry heart is a good like medicine....so read the below list and feel better...these are actually taken from patient's charts....not any of OUR patient's charts...HIPAA you know...Enjoy!!
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin: was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until 1989 when she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
20. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
21. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
22. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
23. Patient is a healthy, appearing decrepit,69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
24. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
25. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
27. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
29. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
30.Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
31. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
32. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
33. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
34. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
35. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
36. The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
37. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
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1 comment:
Love humor. Thanks for sharing.
Enjoyed peeking at your blog and your ministry. I pray you two touch many lives for His namesake.
Thanks for stopping by my blog recently. Enjoy meeting new friends.
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